


Underwater Cuddles

by daddy_snert, luticens



Series: ™ [4]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe, Don't Ask, Fluff, M/M, more hell au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 06:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11753835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddy_snert/pseuds/daddy_snert, https://archiveofourown.org/users/luticens/pseuds/luticens
Summary: Rich remembers being in Hell with the gang, but nobody believes him until someone returns from their little "trip".





	Underwater Cuddles

Warning: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

Ever since the KINKY Ronald McDonald Incident™ four days go, Rich had had kinky™ nightmares every night. He would hear WILL.I.AM and vegnabois NUT, and Ronald would yell in EARRAPE, “you can’t forget me, and nobody can help you” Then, he would wake up and Will.i.am would be standing there watching him sleep and telling him to “GO BACK TO SLEEP CHILD”. But, hidden by Will.i.am’s voice, sometimes, he swore he could hear Ronald’s voice calling to him, whispering,  
“I'll be back for you, you sexy little fuccnugget™” from under his bed. 

One night at 4:20 a.m., or the weeding hour, (blaze it) he felt something kinkily lick his foot. The next day, when the Kinky Squad™ was meeting at Pinkberry, he desperately tried to convince them to remember what happened. He still didn't know how much Christine knew, but he knew the others didn't recall the HORRIFYING EVENTS.   
“Guyth Ronald McDonald ith trying to R A P E me!” Rich screeched in the store.  
“Embrace it, Rich,” Jeremy called out to him.  
“Oh no, not this stupid ‘hey guys we all had kinky sex in hell with Ronald McDonald, but you guys don't remember it for some reason’ thing again.” Michael snapped, rolling his eyes back into his head permanently. Nobody seemed to care that Michael had n o e y e s

 

“Guyth how come you don't care that Michael has no eyeth?” Rich wailed.

“He doesn't need eyes to F U C C “ JereMEME responded calmly, in Scottish ear rape.  
Christine patted him on the head “It’s okay, the mental asylum has really good food. I know from experience.” She smiled a kawaii af smile that distracted Rich from her potential visit to an asylum. “It was for meme addiction” she whispered sexily into Jeremy’s ear which made him n u t. However, Jeremy had no idea what she was talking about. He just had a m e m e kink  
Rich flipped the table, trapping everyone under it. He tried lift it off of them but even his sexy B E E F C A K E M U S C L E S were no match for the KINKY Pinkberry fold-up table,   
so he called 911 and fled the crime scene. He ran down a dark, deserted alleyway. He thought he was alone until..  
“I've got you now, you cockspangled banner of glory” came a voice that was all too familiar. It was Ronald Mcdonald™ !

“NOOOOOOO” Rich cried ketchup, but it was too late. Ronald McDonald™ had already grabbed him and was dragging him to the bottom of the ocean, where his Secret N U T Dungeon 3000™ was located.   
“Where are you talking me, you bee rapitht?!?”  
“My Sea-cret Nut Dungeon 3000 ™ under the Sea”

Suddenly Sebastian from The Little Mermaid™ burst out of Ronald McDonald’s™ stomach screaming 

“UNDER DA SEA!”  
“Oh look it’s our son”  
Rich screamed,  
“YOU GOT PREGNANT??? NOOO! I DON’T NEED ANOTHER KID TO LOOK AFTER, YOU BITCH! WHY DIDN’T YOU GET AN ABORTION?!-?”  
“LOOK AT HIM, HE’S GOT MY EYES AND YOUR DELICIOUS C O C C™ ” 

Just then, Jenna burst into the Sea-cret N U T Dungeon 3000™.

“WHERE THE FUCC ARE YOU RICH?! I NEED TO TWEET ABOUT HOW YOU GOT RONALD MCDONALD P R E G G E R S! IT’LL BE L I T A F F A M” Jenna screeched. Chloe and Brooke broke in and stole Jenna back for their kinky threesome.  
“BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM” sang Babby Sebastian. 

“Awww, his first words!” cooed (((will)))) Roland , while using his hair strands to entrap Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna in his Sea-cret N u t Dungeon 3000™. 

Through the Smexy N U T Dungeon Doors came Daddy Reyes, thrusting his Pointy Dicc aggressively with the Squad™ right behind him, also thrusting aggressively.   
“I HAVE RAINBOW DILDOS™”

“DADDY REYETH! PLEATHE THAVE ME FROM THITH ATHHOLE!” Rich cried.  
“Did you mean… THIS asshole??” Jake said sexily, grinding up on Rich’s face sexily. 

“T h e xy” Rich whispered into Jake’s buttocks.  
“H-HOW DID YOU FIND MY SECRET kinky N U T DUNGEON?!”

The clown screamed, putting his son, Sebastian, on the ground.  
“SICC EM BOY”  
“U N D E R D A S E A” Sebastian sang in bass-boosted ear-rape so ear-rapey that it made everyone's ears feel extremely violated and need an adult. Jeremy’s ears actually exploded and he screamed some Scottish ear-rape.  
“Now how will I hear the sounds of S E X Y M O A N S?” Jeremy cried softly. A single tear rolled down his cheek.   
Rich, with his face still in Jake’s ass, used his bisexual magic to fix Jeremy’s ears.  
“THANKS FAM ALSO SORRY WE DIDN’T BELIEVE YOU ABOUT RONALD.”  
“NO PROB BB AND IT’TH FINE EVEN THOUGH IT’TH YOUR FAULT I’M HERE” rich yelled into Jake’s ass

“My ass tickles” he whispered sexily

“ Oh my God….” screeched Michael, “All my memories are c u m m i n g back!” 

Suddenly, everyone was writhing on the floor and n u t t i n g because of the intense amount of kinky, sexual memory that was returning to their minds. Jake will never look at a McFlurry the same again.

They were n u t t i n g so much that the ocean rose 7 meters. N U T water was everywhere. The continents shrank because of all the n u t flooding. No one could take all of this n u t , because it was too much for the sinners. A brick flew across the sky.

However, Christine quickly used her asexual magic™ to move the n u t water into space, and now the Earth has a ring of n u t water around it like Saturn or URANUS, but it's N U T. They don't teach you that in schools, but it's 666% t r u e found by asstroN U Ts. Fun fact. That's the real reason that one spaceship exploded. 

Suddenly, Rich heard something CUMMING from a trapdoor. It sounded like ‘happy little clouds’ and a N U T T I N G paintbrush.  
“Bob Roth?” Rich whispered, horrified.  
“Whom’st’I've is Bob Ross?” Jake assked, removing his lovely CHEEKS™ from Rich’s face at last.  
“D E A D M E ME, J A K E” screeched Michael, Who was now in drag and lookin’ pretty s e x y, according to Squip and Jeremy. Rich walked up and opened to doors to find his two children, Bob Ross and Kermit Jr, and his ex lover, Kermit-Squip, inside of the floor of the Sea-cret Nut Dungeon 3000 ™. 

“WTF!! WHY DID YOU KIDNAP MY CHILDREN, YOU RACITHT CURLY HAIRED BROKEN ICE CREAM MACHINE??!”

“I WAS KINKY AND JEALOUS THAT THEY WERE BIRTHED OUT OF YOUR ANUS AND I WASN’T! THAT’S MY KINK!” Ronald pouted. 

“Look, guys. Lets face the facts. We’ve been in heere for like ten minutes and nobody’s even had kinky sex yet! I'm getting needy, AAAAAAAAAAAA!” Daddy Reyes bellowed, his pointy dicc™ sticking out of his pants.   
Sebastian, being new to the group, didn't know it was pointy, so he went over to give Daddy Reyes The Good Succ™. Ronald™ tried to warn him but it was too late. Sebastian lay dead, impaled by the D I C C.™ He couldn’t handle the D I C C™.

“NOOOO, NOT MY BEAUTIFUL LOVECHILD WITH THE SHORT BEEFCAKE VETERAN!” Ronald McDonald™ cried until his eyes fell out. Then he used his M C D O N A L D M A G I C to grow a new and even creepier pair.

Daddy Reyes pried Sebastian off if his D I C C™, and started to cook him and yelled “DINNER’S READY!”

“Oh finally, I’ve had wet dreams about eating my own son while n u t t i n g on my lover” Ronald McDonald s u c c e d up Sebastian’s m e a t while n u t t i n g on Rich as his sexual fantasy was fulfilled.

“You know what, Ronald? Maybe you aren't tho bad after all.” Rich said. Then he remembered the kidnapping, rape, and his children and husband locked in a basement. “Nevermind, jutht let me--  
N  
UT”

Then out of nowhere, Daddy Diddy Kong, Gerald McDonald, and Drag Michael stole Rich away from Ronald and Jake. They took them to their castle where no one would find him, and they started to arrange a poly wedding.

Meanwhile, Jake and Ronald got ready to go save their boyfriend. However, they began fighting over property rights.

“Excuse me? OUR BOYFRIEND? THIS FREAKY DEAKY CLOWN DUDE IS NOT RICH’S BOYFRIEND!!” Jake yelled.

“HOW DARE YOU! YOU’RE NOT PART OF THIS LARGE POLY RELATIONSHIP! YOU RAPED US USING KERMIT THE GAY FOG HORN!” the Ronald Gay™ screeched back.

“W@it, i w@s @n @ccident?!” screamed Kermit Jr.

However, Chloe shoved Kermit Jr. Out of the Sea-cret Nut Dungeon 3000™  
after freeing herself from the Ronald’s vines™. 

“THIS IS NOT FOR C H I L D R EN S’ EYES.”   
Kermit Jr. cried so much that the Sea rose a foot. He just wanted to have sex like the big kids. So he cried in the corner with Bob Ross and Kermit. Kermit shoved him off, because he disliked the reject n u t child.

“So like...the castle is on the other side of the world, right? I say we use my asexual magic™ to use the n u t water ring to travel there.” Christine suggested to the Squad™. Chloe shrugged and turned around to find that Brooke and Jenna were missing along with the screaming Ronald and Jake. 

“Wait where my bbs go? Also, the angsty dads?” Chloe panicked. She still needs that kinky furry threesome. Jeremy, Michael, and Daddy Reyes were casually sitting by the fire. They didn’t care. Actually, Jeremy was considering that furry threesome...

Meanwhile, Gerald McDonald suddenly ripped off his clothes to reveal that he was, in fact, an octopus with a flowing clown wig and makeup. It was revealed that Ronald McDonald is actually half octopus, and that’s why his son was a crustacean. 

Rich gasped in shock. This explained why he always felt tentacles inside him in the middle of the night. However, Drag Michael and Diddy already knew this, for it was their ultimate kink.

Daddy Diddy, seeing Gerald stripping, immediately started yanking his gorilla dicc, n u t t i n g into an alternate dimension. Rich was still in shock and didn’t notice he was wearing a wedding dress.

The Octo-Gerald s l i p p e d into a tux and started doing his clown makeup for his wedding day. He began sobbing with joy. 

Suddenly the door burst open and an angsty Ronald McDonald™ stumbled in, he had started going through his emo phase™ and he was now black and white. Jake was close behind.

“WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EMO NOW?!” Gerald screamed, as any disapproving father about to marry his son’s boyfriend would.

“It’s not a phase dad!” Ronald cried, smearing his heavy eyeliner. “Now give me my boyfriend back, i need him to give me the good s u c c™ ”

“Fuck noo! I need that good s u c c™ more than you do! You’re ruining my wedding day!” Gerald yelled at his son. This only made Ronald™ sob even more. Both father and son wanted their man for themselves.

Finally, Rich snapped out his shock.b He backed away, disgusted.

“WHY WOULD I MARRY OR THU C C™ EITHER OF YOU? RONALD™ YOU KIDNAPPED MY CHILDREN AND ME,” Rich glances over to Gerald pissed, “THADLY, I DON’T HAVE AN OCTOPUTH KINK.”

Rich walks over to Daddy Diddy and Drag Michael, smiling.

“I do have a Diddy Kink and Drag Kink though.” Rich starts caressing Daddy Diddy and Drag Michael starts making ear-rape dolphin sounds. Daddy Diddy shuns Rich and starts f u c c i n g Drag Michael gently with a chainsaw. Rich is sad, because he had a big Diddy Kink and loved Daddy Diddy.

Suddenly, Jake was there to save Rich and he was like, “OH DANG! ARE WE HAVING ANOTHER ORGY? I’M ALL ABOUT THAT LIFE! EVEN THOUGH I WILL NEVER LOOK AT A MCFLURRY THE SAME AFTER LAST TIME!” Jake screeches. He forgets about the crying Rich in the corner to join in the f u c c. Rich was basically just a squealing ocean now. Then, Rich drowned in his river of tears.  
“NOOOOO RICH MY BB!!” Gerald was very very sad over the death of his fiancé.  
“YOUR BB? BEFORE HE WAS YOUR FRIEND! HE WAS MINE! I LOVED HIM YOU JUST WANTED HIS C O C C!” Ronald yells at his dad, while sobbing. He decides to throw himself out the window of the castle. He can't live without his Rich. It was only a 4-inch drop, but he falls on Daddy Reyes’ deadly pointy d i c c™, from hell, and dies.

Gerald rushes over to the window, happy his son finally died. 

“Finally that little asshole is dead! I was so tired of his emo shit!”

However, in his happiness, he forgets to hold on the window with his octopus arms and dies top of his son. Even it’s a 4-inch drop, Daddy Reyes’ d i c c™   
is too deadly. He shouts one final thing before his demise.

“LOVE U DIDDY DADDY!”

However, Diddy Daddy didn’t care. He loved Drag Michael more he gave him better f u c c s. Also, he had a Octopus/Clown Death Kink. 

Together with Jake and Drag Michael, Daddy Diddy makes his vows by n u t t i n g and swearing on Daddy Reyes’ deadly d i c c™.

“YOU FOOL! THE TRU RONALDO MCDONALDO™ CAN NEVER DIE!” 

Ronald™ burst through his dead father’s corpse and flies through the castle window with his new deadly d i c c™ powers. 

“Holy thit, will you ever die?” Rich is bored at this point and somehow alive. He used his bisexual magic™ to come back to life.   
“ 

**Author's Note:**

> go give snert either love or hate i can't tell you what to do on his instagram @daddysnert  
> and check out my instagram too i guess but there's literally nothing there @luticensart


End file.
